Doomsday
Hi peeps!
I woke up from a 4 hours worth of sleep to watch some NBA this morning. Well... not much to comment on NBA games? Just glad that my BULLS won. Please win a championship when I am in NS thanks.
Talking about NS, I have began my training for it. After listening to all my frens who just came out from that hell-hole talking about what's needed for it, I realised that my physical fitness requires a lot of work to be done. So I went running around woodlands today. Funny how you meet people you don't expect to meet when running. The other time was my primary school classmate, today was my secondary schoolmate. The run was totally -.- I felt my calves tightening in 5 mins. I thought I was going to have serious cramping in them and kept stopping to stretch them every now and then. I gave up and jogged to the park near my house.
And one of the most embarrassing things happened. I forgot I was wearing some lousy shoes with soles that were as good as gone and the floor was wet. And I retardly tried to do some standing board jump. I slipped. Thankfully I didnt fall and let's just say my back is not going to be pain-free for a while -_____- My chin-ups were worse. I really need to do something about it and fast -.-
So 2 March. 2012 is coming early huh? A levels results being announced on that day and I am totally not looking forward to it. Everyone always thinks, aiya, HC ppl sure no problem one. You know what, I really truly think I am screwed for this A levels. Not that I want to have bad results or something, but something at the back of my mind tells me to prepare for the worst. I know some people are going to say stuff like they screwed up too. Hey, I am not as smart or talented as you people, so my screw-up and your screw-up is totally different.
Okay, I am just being annoyed. Maybe is my back, screwing up my thinking. Wow, I used the words screwed up a lot of times huh? Words of the day? Haha. Oh right A level results. I really dont know what to do if I screw up.... I really dont. Argh.... Suddenly, "Wake Me Up When September Ends" seems so appropriate.
Summer has come to pass, the innocence will never last. Wake me up when september ends....
That's all for today,
See Ya!
REVIVE
Hi peeps!
I am back, to revive my somewhat dead blog. Apparently, it was last year since I posted here. So I don't really expect anyone to follow this anymore. So let's just say I am keeping this for my own reading a few years down the road, and perhaps laugh at how stupid I used to be. Well, people do grow wiser everyday right??
Well.... Just a little update.
Partied at Jason's house for New Year. Did nothing for CNY. Took up a job at Cheers and quitted. And now doing low-paying jobs for the fun of it.
Anyway, I realised everytime I travel home with Yuh Chyi, I always learn something about myself. Some I didn't know and some I already did.
Yeah, I do know I am insecure. But I like things to be perfect. Not exactly a perfectionist.... but close. So, when people start making comments and opinions about me and things I do, I get uneasy. But that's just the way I am... Although I started to learn from experiences in life that sometimes, you just need to ignore people that don't matter. And I am really starting to do that more now. I just like things to go as planned and when it doesn't, I get annoyed and uncomfortable. If that's being insecure, then I am.
Talking about people who matter.
I just came back from campfire in HC. I always thought that people staring into blank spaces and thinking about the past only happens in movies until I actually did it. And boy was I surprised.
So after that thought process, I just decided to do something that I should have done 2 years ago, that is to keep those close friends close to you and don't give a shit, to people who don't make an effort to stay. Honestly, I should have been over this long ago but I am not. Yes, there are too many things that can remind of people who have left my life either willingly or unwillingly. Yet, it always hurt when I am reminded of them and it doesn't help when you are insecure and when you don't know who is the next one to leave you. Because life is too unpredictable and you never know what tomorrow is going to bring, someone close to you might leave you for no rhyme or reason. When that happens, it's going to hurt. Although we will move on, that someone would have left a permanent mark in you such that when you are reminded of them, you will always feel hurt in some way.
It's not going to be easy, but I will try. I adapt to things fast anyway, so I doubt it will last too long.
As for our class gathering today, I would say it was pretty okay? I don't know, this is just not a group of people I will click with. Not my style of friends if I have to put it. And honestly, I don't even know what type of friends I have. Perhaps Yuh Chyi is right, I just didn't give them a 'chance'. But oh well, I won't see them much in the future until... 2 March 2012... Okay, let's leave that to another day. Hopefully, that day will never come.
Perhaps I am too insecure, that's why I get emotional all the time. But when you think too much, that's what happens. And when you're alone a lot, that's when you think too much.... So yeah....
Or perhaps, those who judge me just don't know me well enough. I do hold back stuff about myself and my family. There are certain things I don't tell everyone, but that's because I have been backstabbed before. It's harder to trust when you have been.
Do you really think you know me just beacuse you see things from your point of view? Do you know why I am who I am? Do you even know me at all in the first place? So before you do, let's stop making comments about me. Thank you very much.
Keep judging and you will never understand the truth. Because you think you have it, but you never did.
That's all for today,
See Ya
