Regret.
Hello peeps!
Long time since I last blogged, but well, time is something that I am truly lacking right now. It's so damn close to A levels and I am not even sure whether I know all the concepts that are required to take the test, much less all the content. ._.
Well, seeing as I waste my time doing crap that are hardly useful, that is pretty much expected of me. Not that I dont want to do well or I lack the incentive to do well, it's just, when you get pretty sick of many things around you and many things don't exactly go your way, imaginary stress build up and you need an outlet. This usually comes in the form of computer games, videos or basketball. None of which actually uses little time. So one thing leads to another and I end up just trying to rush out whatever work that is needed for the next day without revising any subjects.
Bottom line is: I am screwed.
I don't want any regrets collecting my A level certificate next year. That's enough an incentive for me to want to do well, but I don't know, things don't always go your way.
Honestly, I can't wait for A levels to end but I don't want it to start. Contradicting? I know. Who doesn't want to get A levels over and done with? But yet, who daresay they can walk into the examination hall with full confidence of getting an 'A' now. Well, maybe Paxton, Joven etc.... oh well, forget what I just said. Many can. I can't though.
Friends. What the hell does that word really mean anyway? I knew it at secondary 4. But HC redefined it. So I don't really know exactly how things work in friendships nowadays. Experiences in HC turned my life 180 degrees and I am still trying to cope with it. Who actually really bothers about how I feel day in and day out? Who actually really care about my life? Frankly, I am not even sure now. Darn it. ._.
Seems like I never seem to blog in a happy mood. Maybe I will. In the near future. Or maybe I will never do that. Who knows?
Thanks to Kwang for accompanying me to study in the reading room, you've no idea how grateful I am to you. Thanks to Jason and Keying for letting me join you two to study at AMK library, you made me realised how screwed I was and how much harder I needed to work. Thanks to Ryan, for always being there, to slap me and wake me up. Thanks to Joseph for always encouraging me via tagboard, letting me know that at least someone bothers about my emotions and everything. I know you all are just friends helping me, but as someone once closed to me said, I dont want to take you all for granted.
Talking about that. TF, I am sorry. It's my fault that we ended up on total opposite ends. I never wanted to this to happen, but somehow it did. I realised, it has been a while, since we last said hello to each other. Please, really, please, dont blame yourself for it. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, I just can't get over certain things. No I am not avoiding you either. If you read this, please understand that, no matter what happens, I have a pair of ears for whatever bullshit you want to rant on me (:
At least I know 1 thing for sure, it takes two hands to clap in a friendship. So for those that has been rather 1 sided with me doing all the 'work', I gave up.
Somehow Avril's When You're Gone sounds very nice. It doesn't actually applies to my life now, but it just addictive all of a sudden.
When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.
Oh well....
Friends. 7 letter word. How complicated can it get? You have NOOO IDEAAAA.
That's all for today,
See Ya.
