Protecting what?
Hi peeps!
*with thick sacarsm* Block test 2 was absolutely great, I would most probably get straight As and my parents would be so proud. *sacarsm ends*
YAH RIGHT. Blocks only made me realised how enjoyable those little stuffs are in my life. Example? Reading a book. Watching Youtube. Facebooking. The list goes on....
Mugging my ass off for two weeks and going out of the exam hall full of uncertainty. Like what the heck is going on here?! Two years ago I was thinking of doing ok for all my exams and coming out of JC more or less with a happy experience. Reality? 180 degree turn. Things just dont turn out the way you predicted them to be. And that's life.
Sometimes, we already knew what's going to happen. Deep down inside our hearts, we know what we deserve. We just dont want to accept it. Whether it is out of fear or out of pride or even out of ignorance, we don't accept it. If I screw up Block Test 2, I deserved it. I was ridiculously lazy for the first 2 weeks, slacking like mad, didn't do much work. If I get straight Us, I deserved it.
Yet, there are times when things happen unexpectantly. Funny how all my priorities shifted over the course of 2 years. How things change overnight. How perceptions of different people changes with just, a day or two. Within two months into JC, I found out who really meant the most to me, and they were nowhere near, where I was studying in. It's like what Wei Kit says, "We wont cherish things, if there is a replay button". Yeah, I hate myself for not doing it. Somehow, just playing basketball with them, seem to relieve alot of my stress gathered from all the things happening in life.
It's exactly because I lost them, that's why I cherished them. I lost the security provided from having someone to go to after school, to do something together. The joy of their company after everyday to do something. I lost all that, and found out, how important they were in my life. Don't get me wrong, there are people whose company I enjoy to be in HC. Just, not that kind of comfort I used to get.
Chong We said, "Our class is just together, because we've to. Just there because it exists." Somehow, it feels the same to in HC. Like, the friends I've made are just there, because at some point of time, we were forced to be in each other's company.
I used to think I meant something special to those that I trusted. That was way too egoistic I know. Yes, I was proven wrong.
People come and go in life. It's not I am afraid of change. I am afraid of losing those that mattered. Because somehow, I always do. Yeah, tell me about it.
My dad's awake and he's pestering me to sleep.
All the best for everyone studying
I'm not afraid of change. I'm afraid of uncertainty. I'm not afraid of asking something. I'm afraid of the consequences. I missed my carefree days.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
