Saturday, May 28, 2011
28/5/2011
He said I had fire in my eyes
Hi peeps!
I am feeling the post-CCA withdrawal symptoms already. Just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Can totally understand and emphatise with Bruno Mar's Lazy Song. HAIZ.
Yesterday was a totally crazy and retarded day.
It was the first time wearing the team shirt out and I've to say, it's kind of nice having one (Y) If there was one thing I am very proud of in Hwa Chong, it would be HC Floorball. And nothing better than a shirt to represent the entire season. (: Thanks Kwang for helping the design or sort of doing the entire design. HAHA.
Played basketball after school to kill time and I've to say, my touches are totally gone -.- Hmm... Sort of makes me feel like joining a Basketball club after 'A's just for fun. Oh well, it's still a looooooooooong time before that happens.
Gathered everyone and went to shop for steamboat food. It didnt took long before we were at Yin Hong's house waiting for the arrival of coach (: Steamboat was just retarded, the whole session was just us talking crap over the table before Coach finally decided to start the season review.
The atmosphere like totally changed. I sort of just said whatever that came to my mind as much as possible, although I skipped through the 'regret' part in the season. Well, he didn't quite said the things I expected him to say, which is what Kenneth is all about. HAHA. Unpredictable (: "No matter what the scoreline, he wouldnt shut up. I mean it in a good way. He never has his head down and always encouraging his teammates and himself. And coaches can usually see fire in people, and I tell you, I saw the biggest flame on the team, when I look into his eyes." (:
"Don't take things too personally" Yes boss, I will heed your advice (:
Really, I could totally emphatise with what Paxton said. It feels weird with nothing to do after school. The one thing that kept us going in school was training. And to think now, going back home so early, it's just weird. Something like feeling empty inside. No one to go with and nowhere to go to.
Respect is the right word for Coach.
If only we did him a little prouder. If only we did.
Oh well. Feel like going out to study. Haiz, I should go annoy my sec 4 clique to do it with me.
Who to turn to, when I need someone by my side the most?
That's all for today,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
11:39 PM
Monday, May 23, 2011
23/5/2011
习惯就好
Hi peeps!
Just came back from Starbucks studying. Alone. Okay, I am not really complaining since it wasn't really intentional. But somehow, it made me realised that, I am almost getting use to this.
Somehow, when needed, I dont really get the physical support. Not like someone to carry me or something, but like, someone to be there right beside me, to listen, to how everything that's really bothering me right now. It's true that there are people that I can always call or drop a message to for a chat, but somehow, not someone physically by my side.
Sort of realised that today. I was so annoyed with Diversity and Evolution, yet beside me, there was no one to ask and no one to complain to. Yeah, somehow, it always happen. When your hopes are high, all the more things would not occur. No, I don't expect there to be someone 100% of the time. That would be asking too much. But half the time? Is that too much to ask for? I dont know. Maybe I didn't do the same, for those that asked the same of me. So used to it. Replacing someone with another. Ending up in a vicious cycle, of having to find replacements.
Things are better left untouched and un-thought of. So that the best would happen. No wonder my right eyelid was twitching all day. Omen? Superstition? Maybe. Either way, it didn't turn out great.
The best part was, the reason I was alone, was because, I didn't execute at the biggest stage. So I suppose I have only myself to blame. If not, the least our team would be at, is the prize presentation. For 3rd/4th. At the very least.
Perhaps Kwang was right, we would look splendid on the court. But, those are just what ifs. And that, is the saddest two words, you can ever say.
Come on, get over it already.
Oh great, the best part was the MJ (Guys) team won. I dont really know how their girls team play, but all I know is, the guys team are undeserving champs. Eating sour grapes? Maybe.
I kept re-watching and re-watching the clip of us playing MJ. Somehow, looking at the number of calls that were not made, all the dirty pushes and shoves given to us by them. It just made me come to the conclusion of, they are not true winners. No matter how many championships they win with that method, in many eyes, they wont be deserving. If you have to play dirty to win, then, might as well dont play.
Whatever.
Somehow, my mood was lightened by the fact that I won't be alone. Then somehow, today, I ended up back to square one again.
不是应该习惯了吗? 为什么还会痛?
Yeah, tell me about it.
I'm still breathing;
7:36 PM
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
18/5/2011
Regrets
Hi peeps!
The girl's team lost. 3-1. Truthfully, not a very splendid game no matter how much they think they did well. No I am not hating or eating sour grapes, but the desire wasn't there as much as it should be, for a final game. But hey, it's their own game, they can do whatever they want, we'll just cheer them on right? Haha.
Then, it got me wondering, what would we be doing, in a game like this? If I had tapped in that goal and we beat RV by a bigger margin? If we made it to semis, and we had a chance to take on RJC? If we could go to the finals, and give MJ a lesson they will never forget? How would we look, on that floor? Fighting hard no matter no scoreline? Maybe.
Then, thoughts start to fly and more what ifs, came to my head. "What if I trained my ball control more?", "What if I stayed as a keeper?" and "What if, I was more composed" Ouch. Makes me regret about the season more. I should really stop thinking about all these crap. Tell me about it.
Anyway, promise broken. Officially. Yay? I dont know, may end up in a blessing in disguise. HAHA. Okay, I shouldnt think that way.
To think going through so much, didn't mean a thing at all. To think, one event could have changed it all. To think, in the end, I didn't mean a thing at all. Perhaps, I should getting used it. At least this time, hopefully, I am no longer walking alone.
Before I start on my Sampling, D and E and read the email that miss ng just sent me, I just hope that somehow, my life would turn out better than what my dad has so called 'predicted'.
Yeah, I am going to say this, my dad actually said, that with this fortune telling crap, I am going to screw up A Levels. How comforting huh? To come out from the family that you trust the most. To tell you that you're going to screw up in your A Levels. Nice. Then, you rub it in that I sucked in floorball. Sure. Fine. Thanks a lot. And you ask me why am I always so rude? Tell me about it -.-
Whatever.
Now to find a studying partner omg. ANYONEEEEE? :D
Because I always imagine, of all the possibilities. And the one thing I have for my life: regret.
That's all for today,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
8:33 PM
Sunday, May 15, 2011
15/5/2011
Looking back, looking ahead.
Hi peeps! (:
I am finally done uploading my mini project, our season video (: Perhaps it isn't the best that can be done, but I tried my best >< Yes, I have to come the realisation that, our season is over. Not the best way to end it, not the worst either. Although the ride was full ups and downs, I am glad that it ended on a high.
Hopefully, this team wont be like our seniors team, everyone just going to lose contact as time progresses. Hopefully, everyone will still come together once or twice to chat and have fun. Maybe so, maybe so.
Looking back at all the challenges that we've faced, all the adversaries. We pulled through and went far, though not as far as we wanted to, but we went far. Although hcunite didnt do us justice, I hope that everyone will remember, this team, conquered challenges, obstacles and tough times, and became truthfully, a team for the ages. (:
Now that is ended, results, test and A levels is going to shift to first priority. Yea, it's sad, and there will definitely be a transition period for me. Thankfully, I will still get to go for trainings to help the j1s. Although is nothing compared to previous times, but at least we've something. Coach wants to have dinner with us for a season review :D Hopefully he would do away with all the stupid stuff I did. Hopefully.
Going to start mugging after school from now on. Once HC Floorball ends. Promise. I wont break this one for sure. I dont wanna admit it, but watching my own video, sort of made me feel like crying. 2 years of HC Floorball and it ended just like that. Fun, joy, excitement, anxiety, anger, disappointment, happiness. Summing my 2 years in HC Floorball: worthwhile (: I'm glad that I didn't choose this over MAD. Nor anything else.
Tell me, which team can fool around in training all the time, joke and laugh everytime yet step on the court with killer instincts? Which team can have lunch together everytime, play monodeal and make a din in wherever we eat? Which team can tell you they overcame the most challenges, to make every other school know, they cannot look down on us? NONE. Except HC Floorball.
Thank you guys for all the fun I had. I will try and design the team shirt as soon as possible. (:
Because the feeling of nothing-ness when everything has ended, when the responsibilty has been lift off your shoulders. It was supposed to feel good, somehow, it isn't.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
7:51 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
11/5/2011
Release.
Hi peeps!
Now that season has ended, there's no need for me control any emotions. Now that there's no games to play anymore, I don't need to keep everything in.
I am not satisfied nor proud of this team and season. Yeah, suprised? As much as I felt we played our hearts out and everything, I am not. But hear me out.
We had the capabilties, the talent and the coach to make semis. Not talking big, but I am serious. We did. But, it doesn't mean a thing now that we didn't. We underachieved, and that is nothing to be proud of. We deserved a spot in the semis. But because we had guys not giving their all, we had guys giving up on plays, we had guys who gave up on the game. That to me, is not a good team. Yeah, it's true that most of us corrected our mistake that we made. But it wasn't in time. All our hopes were on the line, yet, there were people giving up? I dont get it. I really don't.
Yes I agree, I wasn't the best player either. No one was. I was never composed in any games until today. But I know one thing, I gave everything I had, in every game I stepped on the court. It's a real pity that our season had to end this way, it really is.
It hurts even more to see the girls make it. Yes I know, they trained hard too. They deserved that spot. But hey, I am not being arrogant, but we trained ALOT hader and went through ALOT more obstacles. Yet, beacuse of the groupings, we are now watching and cheering them from the sidelines. That feeling sucks even more. When I had the chance to change everything, I didn't make full use of it. I CHOKED. AND THAT SUCKS. I tried so hard to not think about it, but I still did. It haunts me like a ghost. I am disappointed. In everyone, including myself.
Don't get me wrong. I love this bunch of jokers. True that they annoy me a lot, but I will still miss them. All the times we had together, the fun, the blood and sweat and the tough times. We went through all that, and I am very very happy that we pulled through. But we underachieved. Let's face it, we did. We deserve to be part of the announcements for Top 4. But we didn't and that's all that matters.
HAIZ, still, I will miss HC Floorball ):
What am I to do after school now? Now that I am half-sure that a certain promise wont be fufilled. So now what? The feeling of loneliness back again. This time worse.
I hate the fact that I am in a position I am in now. Neither here nor there. It sucks.
Sorry for all the rants, but I held in long enough for the entire season.
Because it sucks to know you were this close to your dreams and you missed it. The worse thing of all is that, you don't have a second chance.
That's all for today,
See Ya
I'm still breathing;
8:23 PM
Friday, May 6, 2011
6/5/2011
Before catching up.
Hi peeps!
I just wanted to blog before I start to TRY and catch up with my work again. HAIZ.
Season has been fun and meaningful. As Coach said it, " This is A Div for us to remember" Although we didn't achieve our goals of making the semis, but I did say, we put on a great fight (: I've never been part of team sports. Like serious competitions. When I first joined this CCA, I was just thinking of enjoyment and fun. What I really didn't expect was to fully commit myself to it and training hard to make myself a better player in this sport. First time I trained for something other than basketball. Although it's true basketball will always remain as my favourite sport to play, I think I have found a new life in HC Floorball.
Face it, I have a very screwed up JC life. But because of HC Floorball, it gave me a reason to keep my head up when coming to school. It gave me a reason to smile when I was down and gave me amazing friends that I never thought I would get.
As our last game as a team approaches, I start to re-call what we've been through as a team. When Caleb was still around, we were just thinking of having fun and never really thought of competing at a high level. When he left, we start getting bored and aimless. When Abdul came, our team started to get some energy but it quickly ended as he left. Then came Kenneth, who pushed our limits single training, yet at the same time, making it enjoyable for everyone of us.
Kenneth didn't just teach us floorball. He taught us, the right way of living life. Tough. Calm. And most importantly, never giving up. No matter how many times you fall, you better get back up as quickly as you fell. Because, there isn't always going to be someone there to pull you up. Kenneth, you may not have know it, but you are the first person I have ever respected at such a high regard. I will never forget everything you've taught us, be it life lessons or floorball. For that, wednesday against RV, I promise to bring my 'A' game which you so rightfully deserve to see from the team.
For those who didn't know, we held VJ to their lowest scoring output in many years. I take pride in being part of the team to do it. Kenneth, instilled in us the importance of teamwork. The importance of trust. And most importantly, the importance of will. I dont think any team wants to play Hwa Chong in floorball A Div anymore. Never will we let any other one say, "Hwa Chong, good la, can thrash"
If they want to win us, you better let them bleed blood.
Kenneth. HC Floorball. From Line 1 to Line 4 to the keepers. Thanks for everything you have given me as friends or as a integral part of my life. Without you, I would not have so much fun. Without you guys, I would never know my limits. And without you guys, I would never know I could do so much when I am committed to something. Thank you <3
Because life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, it's about the number of moments that takes your breath away. (: HC Floorball, a team for the ages (:
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
8:25 PM
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
3/5/2011
Misery
Misery- Maroon 5
So scared of breaking it
But you won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Sometimes these cuts are so much
Deeper than they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be
And I'll set you free
[CHORUS]
Your salty skin and how
It mixes in with mine
The way it feels to be
Completely intertwined
It's not that I didn't care
It's that I didn't know
It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show
So let me be
And I'll set you free
[CHORUS]
You say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
I don't care where I have to go
Why do you do what you do to me, yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
Why do you do what you do to me yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
[CHORUS]
Pretty much sums it up.
Hopefully, I can just focus on the task on hand.
That's all for today,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
8:50 PM
Monday, May 2, 2011
2/5/2011
Unrequired Annoyance
Hi peeps!
Omg, the long weekends are ending! ): Haiz, I've been going out almost everyday since Friday. Basically, my schedule has been packed. It has been quite some time since I've been that busy.
And my parents are not helping by annoying me with the stupidest of stuff -.-
I borrowed 132 dollars for Huang Cheng tickets and cake for Ying Xun. I told them that I did get the money back yesterday but because they didn't had change and it was getting late, I decided to get it on tuesday instead so that I could rush home before 12. And for that, I was scolded and given black faces by my parents. Apparently, they say I will always find a lot of this kind of stupid stuff to do. Like real. I hardly gone out since Blocks and even if I did, I never really claimed money from them. And the best thing is, my dad goes out all the time with his friends. Almost weekly. Nice. It's not like I am having a blast of my life or something.
I was already pretty screwed by my Blocks results. And I have to focus on my Floorball season now in hope getting to Top 4 to achieve our goals as a team. Yet at the same time, I've to do some work so that I won't get myself screwed by teachers when I am back in school.
Thanks a lot. Seriously.
Haiz, I can't think properly now. I am in this semi-conscious state, which I've no idea how I reached such a state. Everything around me seems blurry and I can't think straight. I am just typing whatever that comes to my mind now actually -.-
Oh right, it was Kenneth and Dawei's Birthday celebration today. Finally got to play some basketball after so long, though I was pretty lucky that I didn't overexert or got myself injured. >< Although the suprise screwed up, it still turned out pretty okay I suppose? We still managed to pour Kenneth's entire body with dark soya sauce, oil, yoghurt etc. etc... and Dawei got about almost the same stuff. Jason Seow FTW <3 Hahaha.
Then went over Kenneth's house for some relaxing session. I just basically stoned in front of the comp and caught up with NBA stuff.
My mom just came in to give me that black face again. Sort of like cold war now, but for some reason, I don't seem bothered by it. :/ Oh well.... Haiz. Life in a mess now.
I would just catch up with some work, relax abit and get some sleep. There's a game tomorrow. NJ, watch out.
Because I don't know what's going on, but at least I know what are my priorities as of now. Focus, focus, focus. COME ON.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
7:54 PM
