We just had our first friendly against some Div 2 team today and to say that I played like shit, would be a serious understatement. I was like the weakest link out there. Not really helping on offense, not doing much on the defensive end either. It's so freaking close to A Divs and now is not the time for me to be screwing up stuff that I shouldn't be, making mistakes that I shouldn't make and not fighting hard enough when I know I can give a lot more.
Guess I wasn't really suprised that I got subbed out for the second time this year. Screw it, I should just bang my head against the wall -.- Feeling like the liability of line 1, the team and even in other parts of my life: STUDIES.
Wtheck, like seriously. I spent 1 hour plus working on a question to get 8 marks out of 25. SERIOUSLY, FML. This is the 2nd '44' I got for block test already. ONE MORE MARK TO E AND I JUST CAN'T SQUEEZE THAT OUT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
For whatever reasons, I am just annoyed and pissed off with myself. I keep telling myself, I need to work harder, I need to play better and I need to rest well. Yet, I am screwing up my tests, I am screwing up my first friendly and I am still injured everywhere. Seriously, is life trying to play a joke on me or something?!
Sorry TF, I just can't get it out of my mind. I know I shouldn't beat myself up so much but, SERIOUSLY?! It feels like nothing is going right for me (maybe except my bio results) and the only thing keeping me alive right now is me ignoring everything except the stuff I have to do.
I am living day by day. Not really caring so much about planning ahead anymore. I am totally just screwing up my own life. I keep telling myself I can ignore everything and go out there and do whatever I can and the best I can in whatever I am doing. Yet, I am still like this.
Haiz, it doesn't help either when almost everyone else is celebrating the win, the goals they scored and the plays they made. Maybe I am just being pessimistic. JUST MAYBE.
Okay, I am just going to try and sleep everything off.
Have you ever felt like the liability of a group of people? Have you ever felt like everything doesn't seem to go your way? What are you supposed to do?!
That's all for today, See Ya.
I'm still breathing;
11:42 PM
Welcome To My Life.
Guy.
171.5cm.
Greenwoodian of 1I and 2A to 6A ' 00-05.
I was a CHS 'gentleman' of 1-4,2-4,3-9 and 4-9' 06-09.
I am now a HC-ian of 10S74 and OG34.
I am in HC Floorball <3 .
Addicted.♥
Dancing.
Basketball.
Floorball.
Friends.
Sleeping.
Originality.
Being Direct.
