Life is like a roller coaster. Just hold on tight when it's going down.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

06/01/2010

At the crossroads once again.

Hi peeps!

I have placed myself at the crossroads once again. And this time, it seems, the decision I make would most probably determine, the ending I would have for J2. Perhaps, I am exaggerating the consequences, but please hear me out.

I made a bad decision a year ago, to choose to come to HC, ignoring my friends and choosing them over something less worth it.

I made another after awhile, choosing a subject combination of the toughest.

I made another decision after to choose floorball over MAD and perhaps, basketball. I am beginning to think, it was a bad decision too. Maybe not so much for MAD, I am just not a right fit there.

Looking at the team now at hand. The team that we will be selecting at least 9 from, I realised, I may have made the wrong decision. We have people un-motivated to even give more effort. We have people putting themselves before the team. Simply, we will be sending 16 individuals to A Div as a group to compete. Not a team.

I chose Floorball over MAD. I was backstabbed for it, being put words in my mouth that I didn't or never meant to say. I did admin work too. I even did stuff out of my job scope, at least, what I feel is out of my job scope. For all that, I will be getting a less than fufilling run. Who knows, maybe next week, there would be a change, but from what I see now, this is how I feel. And this feeling, is telling me to quit. Not because the training has gotten tougher, that's not the way I roll. But, because, I have lost the passion that has once brought me here. Not for the sport, for the team.

Perhaps partly because of our wonderful teacher-in-charge, who has hardly done anything for us. If you take up a CCA, you better be able to be responsible to it. Don't give us lame excuses, like seriously, 3 CCAs? SO? You chose to take this up, you only have yourself to blame.

Perhaps because, basketball is more of, my thing. The stuff I do. I am just more of a basketball player, than a floorball player.

Ryan is telling me to leave for my own good, to leave this team to find a place where I can truly enjoy.

Wei Xian is asking me to stay, because, I came so far, to give up now.

To say the truth, I dont even know who to listen to, sort of like a pendulum now, swinging from one end to the other.

I need to make my decision and fast. Because when school re-opens, if I do choose to commit to floorballl, I would be training from 7pm to 9pm. It's gonna be tough, so I have to decide fast.

Someone? Anyone?

After walking through so many pathways, deciding between different paths, I end up at the crossroad, once again.

That's all for today,
See Ya

I'm still breathing;
11:33 PM