Life is like a roller coaster. Just hold on tight when it's going down.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

26/10/2010

I need my daily dosage of

happiness.

Hello people!

Jason seow, I dont whether you might see this, but please keep your promise okay? Meet up soon, if not, I really would turn nuts. ): I miss my sec 4 clique so muchhhh ):

Totally sick of life now and is not that kind of, one thing happens and my world crumble down kind of thing. It's like, so many things are happening at the same time, so many emotional struggles going on within me that I dont know how to deal with them anymore. ): I know I am being too overly emotional, but its just like that.

Promos have been pretty okay. I did promote, well, not saying that I couldn't at the start, it just I was damn lazy. Yay for me? Perhaps some might even be thinking, F, why he never retain? Yeah, tell me I am paranoid, but it's the kind of thoughts that I would automatically have when you are observant enough to pick up little clues left for you. I am not totally oblivious to everything, I just choose to act so. Sometimes, I ask myself, " How long can I keep on pretending? Pretending like everything is fine and I am doing okay. Pretending everything would turn out okay."

Perhaps I am really that dislikeable. Not the kind of friend that many would yearn for. Not the kind of person that people would respect or anything. I know it's not good to doubt self worth, but things keep happening to point me in that direction. I know I have friends that care for me. Sometimes, I feel that I dont even deserve them. I am really an ass I suppose. I <3 Sec 4 Clique. Thanks for not forgetting me despite being in a different school, and please dont ever, because, no matter how far I am, my thoughts would always go to you guys.

Seph, I hope you read this. I sort of know what you are going through, because I did had the same thought as you too. But please calm down and hear me out okay? For my own selfish reasons, I hope that you would stay in AJ so that you would still stay that connected with us. And also, I hope we could graduate together and enter university at the same time. BUT. If you really think that's the best choice, as a friend, you would have my support. I sincerely hope that it was not the setback of the exam that made you think this way, because as you said, failures are just part and parcels of life. We have to pick ourselves up after every fall. My best wishes go out to you.

I am turning into someone with a mask now. Living each day wearing a mask over my face. What happened to me? ): I cant find myself anymore, lost within all the happenings of life.

OP rehersal sucked. I cant control my stage fright. It makes me feel so much worse everytime. It's just hard for me to stand in front of everybody and present with confidence. Nervous-ness strikes me everytime. Hate myself for that ._.

HAIZ

I am losing some of my friends. Intentionally or unwillingly. One of the two. Intentionally meaning I delibrately keep away from the person. Unwillingly, meaning, I want to get to you, but I don't know how to start, because, I have no idea how far we have drifted apart.

Disappointment is a very bad feeling. I had so much of that recently. Thanks a lot of life, you gave everyone lemonades with sugar syrup but not me. ):

I need a daily dosage of happiness. From those that really matters.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

I'm still breathing;
9:49 PM