Tuesday, October 26, 2010
26/10/2010
I need my daily dosage of
happiness.
Hello people!
Jason seow, I dont whether you might see this, but please keep your promise okay? Meet up soon, if not, I really would turn nuts. ): I miss my sec 4 clique so muchhhh ):
Totally sick of life now and is not that kind of, one thing happens and my world crumble down kind of thing. It's like, so many things are happening at the same time, so many emotional struggles going on within me that I dont know how to deal with them anymore. ): I know I am being too overly emotional, but its just like that.
Promos have been pretty okay. I did promote, well, not saying that I couldn't at the start, it just I was damn lazy. Yay for me? Perhaps some might even be thinking, F, why he never retain? Yeah, tell me I am paranoid, but it's the kind of thoughts that I would automatically have when you are observant enough to pick up little clues left for you. I am not totally oblivious to everything, I just choose to act so. Sometimes, I ask myself, " How long can I keep on pretending? Pretending like everything is fine and I am doing okay. Pretending everything would turn out okay."
Perhaps I am really that dislikeable. Not the kind of friend that many would yearn for. Not the kind of person that people would respect or anything. I know it's not good to doubt self worth, but things keep happening to point me in that direction. I know I have friends that care for me. Sometimes, I feel that I dont even deserve them. I am really an ass I suppose. I <3 Sec 4 Clique. Thanks for not forgetting me despite being in a different school, and please dont ever, because, no matter how far I am, my thoughts would always go to you guys.
Seph, I hope you read this. I sort of know what you are going through, because I did had the same thought as you too. But please calm down and hear me out okay? For my own selfish reasons, I hope that you would stay in AJ so that you would still stay that connected with us. And also, I hope we could graduate together and enter university at the same time. BUT. If you really think that's the best choice, as a friend, you would have my support. I sincerely hope that it was not the setback of the exam that made you think this way, because as you said, failures are just part and parcels of life. We have to pick ourselves up after every fall. My best wishes go out to you.
I am turning into someone with a mask now. Living each day wearing a mask over my face. What happened to me? ): I cant find myself anymore, lost within all the happenings of life.
OP rehersal sucked. I cant control my stage fright. It makes me feel so much worse everytime. It's just hard for me to stand in front of everybody and present with confidence. Nervous-ness strikes me everytime. Hate myself for that ._.
HAIZ
I am losing some of my friends. Intentionally or unwillingly. One of the two. Intentionally meaning I delibrately keep away from the person. Unwillingly, meaning, I want to get to you, but I don't know how to start, because, I have no idea how far we have drifted apart.
Disappointment is a very bad feeling. I had so much of that recently. Thanks a lot of life, you gave everyone lemonades with sugar syrup but not me. ):
I need a daily dosage of happiness. From those that really matters.
That's all for today,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
9:49 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2010
23/10/2010
Whatever. Seriously, whatever.
Hello peeps!
Sorry for not blogging these few days, didn't quite have the mood to. ._.
Anyway, life wasnt that great for me to blog about, so yeah, sort of piled up stuff before heading here again.
Got back promo results, not really very disappointing, but I wont say it's very satisfying either. Basically, hard work didn't really paid off for bio. Let's see about Econs. Consistency did pay off for math though.... Chem was just, I dont know, screwed? I could have done a lot better if I was less nervous ._. So many stupid careless mistakes all over the place that I felt like killing myself just by looking at my own script. ._. I actually left 2 MCQ questions, unshaded. HOW IDIOTIC IS THAT OMG?! ._.
Let's move on from promo results, and mind you, I didnt even dare to log on to ISP to see it. I doubt I can take the.... impact.
Anyway, floorball trainings are once again, aimless as our coach is overseas until the end of the month. Sort of makes me lose my drive to wake up immediately after the alarm rings, but I did try. Woke up an hour later and rushed out, which led to me forgetting to take my floorball stick along. One thing led to another and I was late for about 1 hour 45 minutes.
Training was just ... aimless. Wasn't the kind of times that I would feel as though it's going to help me destress from all these PW crap and promo stuff. OH, dont forget all the crap life is throwing at me.
Somehow, I've got this really pissed-off look when I am tired and sian. Apparently, it even got the girls thinking that I was pissed that they came in to train ._. TSKK, I don't like smiling ( different from being happy) Damn it, I need to deal with that, can't imagine my OP examiners looking at me thinking, " What's wrong with this guy?" And my long hair, which I dont intend to cut, isn't going to help much either. So yeah, I better work on that.
YAY, OP. Not. I have too much stage fright to actually do a presentation properly. Solution? Practice, practice, practice.
Talking about stage fright brings me to some annoying issue. I am telling you, I have been backstabbed once again. Like seriously. Apparently this guy said, "Zong Xian? I think he is a f*ckface, because he quit MAD. You know the reason he quitted? Because he thinks MAD is too noob for him." LIKE SERIOUSLY?!
Screw this guy, seriously. I doubt I would do anything to him, but yeah, I did like to know who's the UNKNOWN PERSON, calling me a ****face. For one, I didn't quit MAD because they were too lousy, it was because I feel that floorball provided me a better and more enjoyable environment with less pressure and more fun. Secondly, WHY WOULD I THINK MAD IS TOO NOOB WHEN I THINK THERE ARE LIKE SO MANY DANCERS IN THERE THAT ARE BETTER THAN ME?! AND, I crack under pressure too much to think others suck.
HAIZ.
So much backstabbing going on.
Sometimes, you dont even know what's going on behind you back. And it's annoying this way.
That's all for today,
I need to brush up my OP slides,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
9:45 PM
Monday, October 18, 2010
18/10/2010
Sec 4 <3
Hello peeps! (:
YAY, I am happy again (:
Having asked to celebrate Ryan's birthday, I rushed all the way from HC to Yio Chu Kang Mrt Station, only to receive a call from Jason Seow to wait there before going over. Then, Kenneth Tay and Low Wei Kit, came to fetch me to Yio Chu Kang sports stadium and I thought all was fine.
We got into the toilet prepared to surprise Ryan with water bombs, and guess what? They opened a door to find Ryan with two water bombs. I got scammed. >< In the end, I was the one that was soaking wet and got smashed with cake all over my face D:
After a hasty chorus of Happy Birthday, I went to change and complain about how I got scammed to Ryan. But hey, I wasnt serious about complaining, because I did had fun.
Thanks to Ryan for chasing me all the way to the other side of the road just to smash me in the face with the chocolate cake, thanks for being my best companion and someone whom I could turn to in times when I needed a listening ear. <3 you brother and fellow nostril.
Thanks to Jason Seow for scamming me to make me think that we were indeed celebrating Ryan's birthday instead of mine. Thanks for being the best friend that I could ever find in my life and being someone that I know would always be there for me. <3 brother :D
Thanks to Kenneth Tay for forcing me to come in the first place and being the most generous person/cat ever to let us suan you all the time about all the sick stuff you say. Thanks for controlling yourself (although it was minimum) during public places from getting too high. Thanks for being the highest person ever in KTV. <3 brother.
Thanks to Samuel Lee for scamming me to stand at the door so that I could become the target for all the water bombs. ._. And for smashing cake into my ear and hair with your bad aiming. HAHA. But still, thanks for never bothering about your image and being crazy all the time (;
Thanks to Wei Kit for acting calm throughout the entire thing that led me to the false deduction. Thanks you for always trusting me as a friend and allow me to help you during difficult times. Thanks for always cracking lame jokes when everyone was bored although I admit, sometimes, the weather is cold enough. Love you too brother.
Thanks to Roy Tan for being part of the plan and throw water bomb at me ._. Thanks for constantly challenging me during basketball with your speed and constantly improving to keep me at my toes. Thanks for being so girly that no one would ever called me girly. HAHA. Thanks (:
Thanks to Nicholas Wan for advicing me to put down my wallet and handphone to prevent it from getting wet. Thanks for putting down the hatred with KT and becoming friends again, thanks for everything. (;
Thanks to Wei Xuan for offering one more water bomb for me to protect myself. Although you left early, my gratitude goes out to you too (;
Last but definitely not the least, thanks Joseph Sephy Leong for sharing the same sense of humour to suan Jason all the time. Thanks for all the encouragement you given me when I was lost this year. Thanks for constantly visiting my blog to give me encouragement and helping me pull through. Really, thanks (:
We could still be, FRIENDS FOREVER.
Thanks for making this one of the most unforgettable birthday celebrations I have ever had.
That's all for today,
See Ya!
I'm still breathing;
8:45 PM
Friday, October 15, 2010
15/10/2010
Let It Go
Hi peeps!
"Let it go" Easier said than done. Crap, sometimes, I am just fated to see stuff that I dont want to. Forget it, I am going to try harder.
FOS rocked on the first, sucked on the second. Sorry Ying Lin nv er, I let you down. I couldnt adapt to the full court momentum and nothing was going right for me. I could only contribute defensively, but I had to injure my ankle in the first half of the semi-finals. Darn it. Today is just a bad day.
Shucks, sometimes, it's really not good to get yourself high hopes, because disappointment, is a very scary feeling. I am totally disgusted at myself during FOS. Played like crap. Haiz.
PW is hitting me with full force to cancel out my relaxing sessions D:
I thought post promos was supposed to be fun. ): Nevermind, there's training tomorrow, I would enjoy that for sure.
I still can't believe I missed that shot which could become the gamewinner. Darn it. I just crack under pressure all the time ._.
It's time to move on. I need to be moving on. I have to move on. Meaning? I must move on.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
5:32 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
13/10/2010
FUCK
Hi.
Sorry for the profanities, but that was exactly what I shouted in the lift just now. Sorry if I vent my anger on anyone, but I am really not in a good mood.
That's all for today,
Hope you guys had a better day than me,
See ya.
I'm still breathing;
6:47 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
12/10/2010
High Expectations Get You
Nowhere
Hi peeps! (:
No school today because of Sabbaticals. I was looking forward to Sabbaticals before promos, now I just think I made a wrong choice. It was kind of, boring. Not that it was like too easy or something, (locking really surprised me as a very difficult style to learn), just I didnt like to just learn a choreography and be confined to it. I am too used to my ex-instructors teaching style of teaching the moves and letting us piece it together ourselves. I like that way better. :/
Haiz~
After that, went to Ion Orchard to walk around while waiting for SOMEONE. ._. HAHAHA. Finally, that someone picked up the phone and ask me to go wait at 313 instead. Then, passed my thumbdrive to that someone. Big Bang Theory better be worth the wait okay! HAHA.
I realised I should never get my hopes high for anything. Because, it would just end up getting dashed in some way. Look at Sabbats. Look at my expected JC life. Haiz~
I shall not look forward to FOS so that I can play better then. ._.
Sometimes, it's better to think no one cares. So that when someone does, you can take it as a bonus and life would feel so much better.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
7:45 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
11/10/2010
Perhaps that's just life
Hello peeps!
Life's like that, anything can happen. So for one thing, dont bet against it.
Went to school for PW today. Discussed abit and in like an hour, the meeting ended. Pretty weird but yeah, at least got some stuff done.
After that, went to school to find people to bball. End up seeing no one on the court that I know. And Jason that idiot never reply sms. I just stoned until Lum Bin joined me.
Finally got back my shooting touch. Let's hope it stays all the way until the end of FOS. Eh, no, let's hope it stays all the way. (:
Thanks Lum Bin for the nice talk. It isn't easy to find someone you can talk so much about stuff deep inside to. Thanks. (Although I doubt you would see this. ._. )
I am just going to listen to KT.
Just bear with it. One more year only.
To you guys, I will. (:
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
8:30 PM
Saturday, October 9, 2010
09/10/2010
With People That Matters
Hi peeps!
Don't you agree that sometimes, it doesn't matter if you are doing something or keeping youself busy or not, but it's the company whom you are with that is important? That's how I felt after today.
Went out with sec 4 clique again today (:
Met KT and Jason at Dhoby Ghaut. End up, there were no plans to anything at all -___- But yeah, so we went to Long John to get some lunch. Sat there for like 2 hours? Just talking about our lives and telling them about my own stuff and everything, it's just beat all the time I have in HC. ._.
Ranting to so much stuff to them and updating them on my live made me felt so much better. Especially with KT's over aggressive response. >.> and abusing, it just makes everything so much better. HAHA.
For some reason, I can never imagine, how much my life would suck, if I didnt had them as friends. You guys would never see this because you all never bother read blogs. HAHA, but yeah, I really appreciate you guys. Really.
Sam finally came and we went off to Plaza Sing to help him to an extreme makeover. LOL. To think I use to dress just like him >_<
I dont know how the future would be, like what's going to happen and when issit going to happen. But I know one thing for sure, I know who would definitely be there for me. Plus minus a few people.
That's all for today,
See Ya~
I'm still breathing;
8:54 PM
Friday, October 8, 2010
08/10/2010
LIBERATION
Hello peeps!
YES LIBERATION FROM PROMOS. WOO~ Never felt this good. Probably because I've never mugged so much before in my entire life. Trying to cramp bio, chem and econs in one shot, is CRAZY.
I hope I do well, because, I really mugged a lot this time ): Like really!! OMG. Haha.
Just a few months never blog only, my tagboard so many spammers liao ._. Annoying, is there a way to stop it? O.O
I dont want talk about the papers, because that would make this post look rather emo ._. SO YES, OMG, Promos ended. Heck the papers and start having fun :D
Fun like, going out with my sec 4 clique to play basketball :D
Rushed to CHS to play first thing after the paper ended. Although sad to say, I deproved like mad while the rest improved by leaps and bounds ._. SUCKS, FOS is coming and I am playing like this. Can die.
Better start practicing more, I dont want to be the weakest link ._. Provided I play that is.
Before I start practicing, I better get that cramp on my calve to go away first. Sucks to limp around and look like paika.
Okay, I am going to keep this post short, BECAUSE I WANT TO PLAY. HAHAHA
HAVE FUN PEOPLE.
That's all for today,
See ya~
I'm still breathing;
7:34 PM
