Today was friendly against NYJC. I wont say its unfruitful because I played little minutes. And I am not complaining that I have little time because I was the one who requested for it and also, I fully realised where I should be at instead of within the box.
Before that, I feel sorry for Derek. We were joking around while watching the girls' match and we sort of targetted him abit. In the end, he wasn't very happy because he felt the team didnt had teamwork and focuses more on individual skill. Well, I wont say what he say is completely untrue because there might be really players like that, but, I would have to say he is a little harsh... We were just joking around so I think Derek shouldnt take it to heart. Well, I am a little apologetic to him for I was also part of the people teasing him, but I hope he can understand that I was joking and calm down bah.... :/
Alright, back to why I think I dont want to be confined to the box. When I saw John in the match being pushed on the court, anger, seriously no joke, ANGER, totally got me pumped up. But being a keeper, I shouldnt have been pumped up because its important for me to keep my cool and focus on the ball... That's the reason why I havent been able to play well during matches but ok for training. That's the problem with me, I can never keep my cool and competitveness down. It's just within me. Well.... I cant do much about it. Hence, when the match ended, I went to talk to John about doing a mutual swap of roles since he had expressed interest before. He rejected the idea because he felt I was forcing him or something. Perhaps I am.... But I was really desperate, I felt I would be able to give more to the team by being on the court which I could be of more use.... But I couldn't get it.
I felt even more angered so I had to get out of everybody's vision before I let go of my emotions. So I called my buddy to talk about it. And I have to really thank her for picking up my call so fast and letting me release whatever that I have been going through and also for giving me advice on what to do. Really, really and seriously, thank you my best buddy :)
Well, I have to thank the floorball team here. They encouraged me and asked me to talk to Caleb first. Also, I really appreciate the fact that they were there by my side as a team to help me pass this. And this exactly why I hope to be able to help the team more. Because, it feels like home to me. The team is really bonded I feel. That's why I dont quite agree with Derek on that issue, but that's not saying that we didnt go overboard of course.
Well, I think the reason why I am so determined on this is probably because I have let myself give up too much and sacrifice too much. When I was in Basketball, I gave up because I couldnt adapt to the team. When I was in MAD, I had to give up because I wasnt able to keep up with the fees. Now, in floorball, I gave up my field player position to fill up the vacant goalkeeper's position for the sake of the team. So it's like, the reason why I can smile, laugh and joke around during training was because my friends were there, not because I truly enjoyed my position. But now, I feel, I should play on the field for the sake of the team, which I could be of better use, where my basketball experience, athleticism and speed could be of more use and also, where I could really enjoy the CCA itself.
And to say the truth, I realised there are really times when you really know who are the people who are always there for you. But its also precisely the same reason, I didnt want to always bother the people who actually mattered, especially when I know that they would be affected by it because of it and therefore, their subsequent activies would be affected one way or another. So I chose only my buddy to talk to this time. But rest assured, those I didn't, it would most probably because I didnt want to affect you, not because you didnt matter :) And to my buddy, really, A MILLION THANKS to you, you really are my best buddy. You are always there when I needed someone to rant for some reason. :)
Alright, perhaps I have been abit emotional throughout my blogpost today..... Well, I will be fine... so no worries people. :)
That's all for today, everyone who's reading, take care. :) See ya~
I'm still breathing;
8:57 PM
Welcome To My Life.
Guy.
171.5cm.
Greenwoodian of 1I and 2A to 6A ' 00-05.
I was a CHS 'gentleman' of 1-4,2-4,3-9 and 4-9' 06-09.
I am now a HC-ian of 10S74 and OG34.
I am in HC Floorball <3 .
Addicted.♥
Dancing.
Basketball.
Floorball.
Friends.
Sleeping.
Originality.
Being Direct.
